Mum-guilt and Other Short Ramblings

Tuesday is my “lazy” day. It’s the first day of the week that Izzy and JJ go to their Dad’s house and I’m left all alone with Abbey. It’s the quietest day of the week because she knows that she doesn’t have to compete for my attention by screaming, causing lots of drama, or fighting with her Brother. There’s a significant difference in volume and behaviour on a Tuesday which gives me a little bit of breathing space, so then I battle with the question; should I take the opportunity to be productive and get more things done around the house or should I take advantage of the quiet and relax? Today I have chosen to relax but I feel bad about it. I really shouldn’t.

This morning I went for a short run and then I went to the barn to take care of the horses (Not relaxing, I know). I then came home, showered, did a little bit of housework (But not enough to make me satisfied with the house) and then Abbey and I watched a Disney movie together. I’ve also been on the internet for a bit, advertising my photography. I also want to start reading a new book today. On average I read about two books per week now. When the kids go to bed I just slump on the sofa and read my book. That’s my “Me” time. 

Being a Mum is hard though because we always feel guilty for doing something for ourselves (Or at least, I do). I’m currently sitting in my bedroom blogging while my toddler is watching TV. She’s happy but I feel like I’m ignoring her. Today I wanted to buy myself some new clothes as I just wear the same three outfits on rotation and it’s quite ridiculous, but of course, my initial thought after that was; “All spare money must go into the kids’ savings account so, NO!” The other day I had my Mum come round and babysit. I got about three miles away from the house and decided to turn around and go back home, because even though I desperately needed some time to myself, I wanted to be a good Mum be there for my kids, so that’s what I did. The other week I felt guilty for sitting and cuddling with Abbey for most of the day because I wasn’t being “productive” enough, despite there being absolutely no reason to feel bad for loving on your child and ignoring the world. Can’t win. I think too much. 

Heck, whatever though. I’m not complaining about the mum-guilt. It is what it is. That’s just how we are. That’s how we know we are good parents. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I still get my own joys in life. I treat myself to a meal at my favourite vegan restaurant almost every week. Tomorrow I plan to take Abbey there again, after her speech therapy session. She’s doing so well and her speech is coming along great. Every day we have a new word. Unfortunately this week was a word she wasn’t supposed to say. Begins with “S” …. Oops! Slight parenting fail that I know we all make so that I won’t be feeling guilty about.

Last week I took the children on the train to Winter Park, Orlando and we went to our other favourite vegan restaurant. We went all out and had a full-course meal. By the end of it we were absolutely stuffed. The children played in the park just outside the train station. Izzy climbed a tree and went way too far up for my liking, but that’s Izzy, she’s brave! JJ climbed it too and Abbey had lots of fun playing in the water fountain (Girl is obsessed with water). Another joy in my life; Being able to take the children out on day-trips.  

This was a super short post. I need to go lay down though. I have a really sore back. I’ve been working with a horse at the barn that has a tendency to be a little bit silly sometimes and he’s hurt me this week. I’m kinda over it to be honest. Just sitting here at my desk is hurting me. I try not to take medicine but I think it’s time to give in and take some and then relax for a little while before I have to do my second shift at the barn. Ugh. My next post will be a little more positive and more interesting, I promise.

Thanks for reading (If you made it to the end without falling asleep).